Obama Punks Republicans, Serves Tea

Obama invited top Republican and Democrat leaders to the White House today for what was expected to be a preliminary discussion about solving the problems facing the country. But unexpectedly, Obama took the opportunity to hit back at those Republicans who have been crowing so loudly since the midterm elections. Showing he's got game, Obama asked his culinary staff to prepare a special treat for the meeting: tea.

Tea, served cold with a side of bacon, and a Hershey's kiss on the saucer. Obama raised his tea cup to start the meeting and toasted his guests asking them to join him in drinking tea. New House Majority Leader Boenher said, "Hell No" and refused to drink. Mitch McConnell declined his beverage, saying he wasn't gonna do a dang thing for the country except worry about the next election. Eric Cantor didn't get the joke. He said, "What's wrong with drinking the tea, I like to have tea parties?" Later after getting his arm twisted by Boehner behind the coat closet, Cantor returned and announced "I have nothing to announce. I've got to talk more with my colleagues and will tell you what they tell me to say when they tell me what to say."


It is thought that Obama is throwing down the gauntlet by serving tea. He is goading the Republicans into embracing the Tea Party publicly. It remains to be seen whether the Republicans will actually drink the tea or just talk.

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Surprise, Obama News Conference to be Held on the Lawn

Surprise, Obama News Conference to be Held on the Lawn

In a surprise announcement the White House has confirmed that the President's second official press conference will be held on the East Lawn. A source speaking off the record stated that the administration is continuing to consistently "prove that the best way to govern is to provide a challenge to absolutely every level of public servant." In a rare moment of visible confirmation, it was possible to observe Park Service employees and White House staffers scurrying about the grounds as they tidied up the yard and roped off areas of newly planted bulbs. It appeared as if a backdrop of faux Greek columns was being assembled behind the Obama's newly purchased swing set.
"Everyone knows that we're juggling big challenges and under a lot of pressure to get it right. But it is spring here in D.C. and the President thought that it would be nice to do this outside and just sort of communicate like anywhere else in Main Street, USA. You know, kinda have the barbecue going for the reporters kind of thing." The President has come under fire as of late for appearing too optimistic about the chances for economic recovery. The source said the hope is that the play structure might actually serve as a metaphor for the dangers and pleasures inherent in participating in the world's most vibrant capital market. "I can't say for sure, but we are discussing having Barack actually give his opening statement while seated on the swing. It will be kind of a new spin on the fireside chat thing, and will hopefully reassure the American public not only by giving a sense of closeness and frankly, fun with the President, but also will underscore, again metaphorically, that the economy will fluctuate and swing and yet we're all still safe."
About his former rival's decision to break with tradition in this radical manner, John McCain had this to say," As far as I'm concerned, I'm loving the flip flops that I'm hearing from the administration on taxing employer provided health benefits. So if the man wants to wear flip flops to a press conference in his backyard well, let me just put it this way, did someone say barbecue?"