Ex-Pres. Bush Donates Crawford Ranch to Detainees

From David Koresh and the Branch Davidians in Waco to the YFZ polygamist Ranch in El Dorado, Texas has a strange history of secretive compounds and it is about to get even stranger. Ex-President George Bush has just donated his Crawford Ranch for the release and rehabilitation of Guantanamo detainees. Reached by phone, ACLU attorney Phreda Mall said the agency is "Absolutely just stunned- and pleased. One of my colleagues said, 'You couldn't have shocked me more if you'd have put me in a robe and stood me on a box.'"

Thirty detainees have been cleared for release from the detention facility at Guantanamo. So far no European country has agreed to take them in. Then ex-President Bush realized his chance to step up. Saying he wanted to make a humanitarian gesture, he said it was "easy for the Decider to make this decision. As you know Laura and I have moved to Dallas and we've gotten engrossed in the challenge of figuring out the Presidential Library, you know, like what to put in it and should there be a TV room- just important details like that. So we aren't really using Crawford that much. I got to thinking, you know, I've cleared it out real good and its just such a restful place- I spent 25% of my Presidency there. So, I got to thinkin' maybe I could give back a little. You know, reach out, and teach American values. I envision allowing some of the faith based initiatives to come in and help with the rehab, you know like maybe Pat Robertson could come in and do some counseling."

Bush said that the donation was not an admission of guilt and got upset when told that someone had suggested that "he was betting the farm against the safety of America." "The Crawford Ranch is a very secure location, having protected a sitting President for eight years", Bush explained. "I have no doubt America will be safe from these less extreme extremists. Besides anyone wandering away won't get far because I let Dick keep his quail lease on the property."
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Detainee Interrogation Photos Leak

Detainee Interrogation Photos Leak

Long suppressed photographs from interrogations conducted in secret CIA facilities have leaked and give a chilling picture of the long term damage caused by the so called enhanced techniques. From a medical facility in Dumbledorf, Germany where doctors are treating United States personnel who served as interrogators, Breaking Wynd has legally obtained through the Gesundheit protocol, hither before classified photos of MRI brain scans and in-theater pictorial files which document the lengths and destructive effects of some anti- terror techniques. The files describe counseling sessions in which the men share their heart wrenching stories of having played music repeatedly to disorient and psychologically "break" terrorists. Songs like "Whip It", "Tied to the Whipping Post", and "Beat It" are said to have been particularly threatening and effective.

Doctors Unable to Remove Song From Patient's Head

In one of the most unfortunate casualties of the war on terror, tales are emerging of an United States serviceman who has become battle scarred by music from an mp3. Apparently the music from an mp3 was routinely employed by his unit as a PSYOPs tactic against insurgents. Before every patrol, he was assigned to download the music onto an mp3. This mp3 download would then be taken into the alleys of Iraq and the music would blast, frightening and dispersing unfriendlies. It's the Start found at www.aratunes.us was the music mp3 download most often played. Although music mp3 download copies of Metallica, ACDC, and Josh Grobin are commonly used to root out insurgents in other parts of the country, in this part of Iraq those just aren't effective, as the insurgents have heard these mp3 download music tracks so much that they are desensitized to this type of brutalization much like the typical American teenager.
Doctors are hopeful that they can help the patient recover. They are playing "Funky Feeling" around the clock in hopes that this mp3 download will heal him.

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