NAACP Says Article Implies President Mooned NYC

The NAACP is upset and has asked the author to wipe clean a recent article about the mooning of New York City from Air Force One. Claiming that it was offensive to categorize the prank as "shady" and in doing so lead some to believe that maybe even the President was involved, they have issued a call to redact the news item.

Lawyers for both sides have set up a meeting to discuss the matter, but one big hurdle will be getting to the bottom of who actually did the mooning. Air Force One is protected by the United States' highest secrecy classification protocols. Because of this they refuse to release who was actually on the plane. "We cannot confirm or deny which assets Air Force One was transporting during the flight in question", Flight Commander Bea Leeve spokeswoman for the President's plane said.

More info at www.aratunes.us

GOP Slams Leaked TARP Theme Song

GOP leaders are sounding a chorus of sour notes at the latest news that the TARP fund has commissioned an official theme song. On Capitol Hill it has leaked that President Obama will unveil "According to Murphy" during his upcoming prime time address. Some are questioning why taxpayers may be asked to pay for an official slogan song for the TARP fund even if it is "peppy and uplifting."

Officials who agreed to speak off the record explained the genesis of this strange promotion. Apparently Larry Summers is a big country music fan and while he prefers music performed on the boxcar kazoo (an instrument made popular during the Great Depression) he enjoys the rollicking piano solos performed by Ara Eissler, an obscure country musician. So as part of the TARP mission to get the economy firing on all cylinders he asked the President's HOPE committee (Hobbies, Organisations, Pastimes, and Enrichment) for some ideas.

Their recommendations were twofold. Because of the current state of poor copyright enforcement, musical artists are unable to protect their creative property. The "every one's doing it" mentality leads some to believe music must be shared for free in the new business model and this directly affects Uncle Sam. Because artists aren't paid, they don't pay taxes on royalties. The US government loses 1 billion dollars a year in uncollected taxes on royalties from musicians and studios. The taxpayer picks up the slack to make up the difference. So if the TARP fund chooses to pay Ara Eissler for his song and he generates income from his intellectual property rights it will actually benefit the government come April 15th.

Furthermore, according to Michigan State's American Radio Survey Encyclopedia the majority of music (71%) is listened to by automobile travelers. So anything that promotes good music for the automobile consumer just makes good economic sense for manufacturers such as General Motors and Chrysler according to Mi.ARSE.

Or one could look at it as this is just another in the panoply of shovel ready projects America could invest in.

Surprise, Obama News Conference to be Held on the Lawn

Surprise, Obama News Conference to be Held on the Lawn

In a surprise announcement the White House has confirmed that the President's second official press conference will be held on the East Lawn. A source speaking off the record stated that the administration is continuing to consistently "prove that the best way to govern is to provide a challenge to absolutely every level of public servant." In a rare moment of visible confirmation, it was possible to observe Park Service employees and White House staffers scurrying about the grounds as they tidied up the yard and roped off areas of newly planted bulbs. It appeared as if a backdrop of faux Greek columns was being assembled behind the Obama's newly purchased swing set.
"Everyone knows that we're juggling big challenges and under a lot of pressure to get it right. But it is spring here in D.C. and the President thought that it would be nice to do this outside and just sort of communicate like anywhere else in Main Street, USA. You know, kinda have the barbecue going for the reporters kind of thing." The President has come under fire as of late for appearing too optimistic about the chances for economic recovery. The source said the hope is that the play structure might actually serve as a metaphor for the dangers and pleasures inherent in participating in the world's most vibrant capital market. "I can't say for sure, but we are discussing having Barack actually give his opening statement while seated on the swing. It will be kind of a new spin on the fireside chat thing, and will hopefully reassure the American public not only by giving a sense of closeness and frankly, fun with the President, but also will underscore, again metaphorically, that the economy will fluctuate and swing and yet we're all still safe."
About his former rival's decision to break with tradition in this radical manner, John McCain had this to say," As far as I'm concerned, I'm loving the flip flops that I'm hearing from the administration on taxing employer provided health benefits. So if the man wants to wear flip flops to a press conference in his backyard well, let me just put it this way, did someone say barbecue?"