Thursday, September 3, 2009

Nike, Hugh Hefner Team Up On New Lounge Shoe

Nike, Hugh Hefner Team Up On New Lounge Shoe

Encouraging Just Do It the new advertisement reportedly has Hefner smiling and recommending "Treat yourself to a pair."

In an exclusive interview with Breaking Wynd Hugh said, "I feel I still have a few opportunities to explore in my life, new mountains to conquer if you will. My friends and I, we discussed and discarded the idea of a bobble head action figure that comes with a replication of the grotto scenery. My canvas cubby system for sorting multiple guests' laundry was judged to be too mundane and, frankly, just not many people probably have that particular issue. Nix as well to antibacterial lawn chair covers with the Playboy logo on them, and no also to the condom roll which I actually hold a patent on and I would describe as like an industrial sized tape dispenser which holds about 40 condoms and you can just pull 'em off one at a time."

"But I got to thinking- I am always wearing out the felt inner liner of my slippers and then they're just not cushy. Not to mention the fact that I need a lounge shoe that is durable, with a firm grip in wet conditions, but with the flexibility and strength for exertive activities around the property. I was thinking that Nike designs shoes for all kinds of athletes- lifters, hitters, ballers, wrestlers, and why shouldn't they consider me and my needs to be a similar challenge to sports shoe design? I have to say, they were very enthusiastic when I called them. In fact, Scott- the intern, was like "Yes Mister Hefner, when can I come out there to the mansion? I'll do a 36 hour posterior.... no wait, he said posture... diagnosis including a terrain analysis of the bushes and grasses. We'll figure out the optimal materials to maintain a full level of comfort on carpet, tile, marble, and out in the elements so you can always keep your slippers on, no matter what you're doing." And I thought that was a good plan. So we studied it and smoked a few in the drawing room and what we ended up with is a pair of top rack, good looking, nice, bouncy, comfortable, cushy, warm, soft, smooth, firm, rounded, inviting, lounge slippers that I'd say any man would want to slide right into and nestle up with."

Scott- the intern, could not be reached for comment. His office cryptically stated that his research was coming to a finish but he was still out at the mansion "putting on the final touches and tucking away at some loose ends."

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